Finding Balance: Juggling Parenthood, Marriage, and Work
By Ben Hotelling, MS, Associate Dean of Student Success at Kettering College
As someone who was raised in Lebanon, Ohio, on an old pig farm, I’ve always known the value of hard work. After high school, I pursued my passion for culinary arts, only to discover that the long hours on my feet weren’t quite what I envisioned for my future. Eventually, I found my true calling in higher education and joined the Kettering College family after completing my undergraduate degree. I haven’t looked back since.
In 2015, I earned my Master of Science in Higher Education Leadership from Wright State University, and today, 12 years later, I serve as the associate dean of Student Success and dean of students. For the past five years, my focus has been on creating an environment where students feel valued, heard, and supported throughout their time at Kettering College. There’s nothing more rewarding than knowing the students by name, hearing about their experiences inside and outside of the classroom, and helping them achieve their goals. I truly believe that students are the heart of our college, and they’re where I devote my time and energy.
However, balancing my professional life with raising four little girls and a marriage is no easy task. It’s a challenge that requires careful thought, intention, and a lot of flexibility. Here’s how I navigate this delicate balancing act.
Managing Time with Intention
Time management is tricky. It’s something we all struggle with at different stages of life, whether as a student, new graduate, or seasoned professional. And when you add a family and children into the mix, it becomes even more complex. Over the years, I’ve realized that life moves fast, and the world doesn’t stop, even when you need to take a break.
That’s why I strive to be intentional with my time. I make it a point to wake up early, before the rest of the house, to get myself ready for the day. One of my favorite parts of the morning is waking up my four girls, spending those brief moments with each of them, and talking about the day ahead. Afterward, I head downstairs to make their breakfast—a small but meaningful routine that allows me to connect with them.
I’m also dedicated to family dinners. Growing up, we didn’t always have that, so I make it a priority to be home in time to prepare and share a meal with my family. Every Friday night, we have something called “Fancy Friday,” where we use our nice plates (remember I have four kids, so we traditionally use paper plates and I am lucky if they even use utensils), we dim the lights, light some candles, and have a special meal together. It’s a cherished tradition that allows us to pause and simply enjoy each other’s company.
Being present with my family is something I value deeply, so if you see an email from me late at night, it’s because I’ve waited until the house is quiet and the kids are asleep to get back to work.
Prioritizing Health and Wellness
Staying physically and mentally healthy is essential when you’re balancing so many roles. For me, walking is one of the key habits that helps me stay grounded. Whether it’s walking through the halls of Kettering College, taking the extra steps outside on the way to the Cancer Pavilion to get my morning iced coffee, or around my neighborhood after the kids go to bed, this gives me a chance to clear my head and refocus.
During these walks, I often find myself reflecting on my spiritual health as well. It’s a time for quiet reflection and sometimes prayer, which helps me not only release stress but also feel connected to something greater than myself. This practice contributes to my sense of overall well-being and helps me maintain perspective during busy or challenging days.
While exercise comes and goes in my routine, I’ve learned to embrace walking as a reliable form of both movement and mental clarity. It’s not always about having a perfect fitness routine but finding small moments throughout the day to prioritize my well-being.
Navigating Work-Life Boundaries
This is probably one of the toughest parts of my job. As dean of students, students often reach out to me with urgent needs, and it’s hard to disconnect completely when you know someone might need your help. I work hard to put my phone away when I’m at home, but it’s something I can always improve on. As I stated earlier, I often log back into my email late at night to ensure that no student questions go unanswered before I go to bed.
Compartmentalizing work and home life is important, but it’s not always easy. Like many parents, I see my own children in the students I serve, especially when they’re going through difficult times. It’s a daily challenge to be fully present for both my students and my family, but it’s something I strive for.
The Importance of a Strong Support System
Your support system is everything. My family, especially my wife, has been my rock throughout my career. We’ve been married for 12 years, and she has always encouraged me to be the best version of myself. My daughters, too, are a big part of my support system. When I pick them up and give them a big hug, it brings me a sense of calm and perspective, helping me reset and refocus on what truly matters.
I’m also fortunate to have an amazing team at work. The people in the Student Success and Student Affairs departments feel like family. We all care deeply about our students and knowing that I’m surrounded by colleagues who share my passion for student success makes the work we do even more fulfilling. Additionally, my faith plays a significant role in how I approach both my work and family life, giving me strength and resilience when things feel overwhelming. It’s a guiding force that helps me stay grounded and reminds me of my purpose.
Lessons in Balance
Over the years, I’ve learned many major life lessons, but for this article I’ll share this: You don’t let the most important things fall. When you’re juggling 5 or 10 things at once, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But I’ve come to realize that if I prioritize what truly matters — my family, health, and spirituality—the rest can wait. Emails can be answered tomorrow, the lawn can get mowed tomorrow, and the dishes can be done after the kids are in bed.
Balance, to me, is about being adaptable. It’s not about giving equal time to everything but being present where it matters most. Whether that’s in a meeting at work or sitting down to “Fancy Friday” at home, success is when I feel like I’m fully showing up in each role without sacrificing one part of my life for another.
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